Friday, September 6, 2013

Under Grace

Today, after some prayer and contemplation, I decided that I needed to change the name of this blog to The Miraculous Grace of Jesus. I feel convicted that Understanding Purity was a title that kept me too bound to one subject too much and came more from a place of pride, than a focus on Christ. My desire was to bless people, but it was to bless people through MY ministry, rather than to be a part of Christ's ministry. What do I mean? It can be a subtle thing, but it is connected more to wanting to share what I know, rather than a desire to minister the grace of God and record the grace that God has given me. This isn't true of everyone who has a specific ministry, but for me it was. And I think that was why God allowed me to be hindered so much in my writing. Because, by the love and grace that he has for me, it is about him and his glory, rather than about me and what I know...even if that knowledge is from him.

 My Father God is amazing, wonderful and incredible. He has given me so much, far more than I ever could have earned or known or asked on my own, and I want to share that amazing, incredible grace with others. Sometimes that might mean writing about purity, but I think, really, it's just going to be about the love of God, poured out through the saving blood and resurrection of Jesus, by the work of the Holy Spirit. I don't know what it's going to look like, how often I'm going to write, or when I'm going to have time to record what God is doing in my life. But I don't think those things are important. What is important, is that I have the unearned, undeserved, unasked for privilege of knowing and being known, loving and being loved by a God who is infinitely more amazing and wonderful than I could ever understand. And because of how amazing it is to know Jesus, I MUST write about it. I cannot keep from writing about it. Because he is wonderful and he deserves to be made much of.

More and more, as God grows me in the knowledge and love of Jesus, I feel drawn to one set of verses in the Bible that entice me and challenge me and speak to my heart deeply. They are found in Romans 11:33-36, which says: "Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." 

There are tears of awe and joy threatening to well up in my eyes as write, because the amazing wonder and grace of God has been so great in my life, I can barely comprehend even a tiny portion of what it all means. But I know that all the "wisdom" and "knowledge" and all the hopes and dreams that I have had up till now, no matter how right and godly they may have seemed at the time, have all been stripped away and the only thing that matters any more is God. I am sure that this is a place that I will have to be returned to again and again throughout my life. But right now, he is all that I want. And in wanting only him, somehow my love for my husband and my children and my brothers and sisters in Christ and my family are grown more than anything else ever could grow them. In wanting only him, I want my husband more, I want to serve my children more patiently, and I want to work more fruitfully in my home and love others more effectively. It may seem like a contradiction, but somehow it is not it is not a work that I am doing in my own life, it is a work that Christ is doing in me and I am in awe at the greatness of his love and power. 

O the deep, deep love of Jesus, vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me, is the current of Thy love
Leading onward, leading homeward to Thy glorious rest above!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus, spread His praise from shore to shore!
How He loveth, ever loveth, changeth never, nevermore!
How He watches o'er His loved ones, died to call them all His own;
How for them He intercedeth, watcheth o'er them from the throne!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus, love of every love the best!
'Tis an ocean vast of blessing, 'tis a haven sweet of rest!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus, 'tis a heaven of heavens to me;
And it lifts me up to glory, for it lifts me up to Thee! ~ Samuel Trevor Francis

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